Longmont Potion Castle 16 (2019)

Longmont Potion Castle 16

Track 1: LPC 16 Medley 1

Last modified: 2025-02-14T11:42:08
Model used: distil-whisper/distil-large-v3
Speakers adjusted? false
Subtitles adjusted? false

  • 1 -- SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
  • 2 -- SPEAKER_00: Hello.
  • 3 -- SPEAKER_04: Hi, this is Sasha.
  • 4 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm a whip master.
  • 5 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm smacked by a whip through the air,
  • 6 -- SPEAKER_04: and I'm going to be outside practicing.
  • 7 -- SPEAKER_04: I just want you to make sure you clear the area
  • 8 -- SPEAKER_04: and stay out of my side, okay?
  • 9 -- SPEAKER_00: What the hell is the matter with you?
  • 10 -- SPEAKER_00: A human being sick?
  • 11 -- SPEAKER_04: I use a whip.
  • 12 -- SPEAKER_04: A horse whip.
  • 13 -- SPEAKER_00: Okay, and I'm going to call the police right now.
  • 14 -- SPEAKER_00: Come over, and I'm going to get to the police right now.
  • 15 -- SPEAKER_04: Hey, hey, guy.
  • 16 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm going to be outside here in a minute.
  • 17 -- SPEAKER_04: Okay, and I'm going to be...
  • 18 -- SPEAKER_04: You better fuck off.
  • 19 -- SPEAKER_04: Fuck off, you mothervoker.
  • 20 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm going to use my will.
  • 21 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm going to snap my...
  • 22 -- SPEAKER_01: You're the son of my bag.
  • 23 -- SPEAKER_04: Stay out of my way.
  • 24 -- SPEAKER_05: Hello?
  • 25 -- SPEAKER_04: This is Brannigan with UPS calling?
  • 26 -- SPEAKER_05: I don't think I have a UPS package going anywhere.
  • 27 -- SPEAKER_04: No, we have one that we're attempting to deliver for the past week.
  • 28 -- SPEAKER_04: No one answered the buzzer, according to my notes here.
  • 29 -- SPEAKER_05: At what?
  • 30 -- SPEAKER_05: I'm a traveling comedian.
  • 31 -- SPEAKER_05: Right now, I'm in Chicago.
  • 32 -- SPEAKER_05: Where is the address that you're trying to deliver a practice?
  • 33 -- SPEAKER_04: Oh, we're far from Chicago, sir.
  • 34 -- SPEAKER_04: So when are you going to be returning to the residential delivery that we can complete our COD?
  • 35 -- SPEAKER_04: I don't.
  • 36 -- SPEAKER_06: You haven't told me the address.
  • 37 -- SPEAKER_06: Is it in Arizona or is it in Phoenix?
  • 38 -- SPEAKER_06: I mean, Palm Springs?
  • 39 -- SPEAKER_04: It's California residential delivery.
  • 40 -- SPEAKER_04: And when will you be there to sign for your COD parcel?
  • 41 -- SPEAKER_04: Never.
  • 42 -- SPEAKER_06: This is Gallagher, the comedian.
  • 43 -- SPEAKER_06: I travel around the country doing shows.
  • 44 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't know anything about this parcel, nor do I actually have a house.
  • 45 -- SPEAKER_04: Well, if you want to read...
  • 46 -- SPEAKER_06: All these addresses are my kids.
  • 47 -- SPEAKER_04: If you want to read a credit card or routing number, we can leave it in a safe place for you.
  • 48 -- SPEAKER_04: That's certainly no problem at all.
  • 49 -- SPEAKER_04: Not a problem at also.
  • 50 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't have...
  • 51 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't have...
  • 52 -- SPEAKER_06: I send things all the time.
  • 53 -- SPEAKER_06: I know about routing numbers.
  • 54 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't have a package.
  • 55 -- SPEAKER_06: I didn't go to UPS.
  • 56 -- SPEAKER_06: I didn't get a routing number, and I didn't get a routing number,
  • 57 -- SPEAKER_06: and I didn't.
  • 58 -- SPEAKER_06: didn't send anything.
  • 59 -- SPEAKER_04: Well, we can't leave it without a COD payments or $123.40 is what we need to collect here today.
  • 60 -- SPEAKER_04: Can you just read a master charge and we can settle it by phone?
  • 61 -- SPEAKER_06: No, I think you're a scammer. Goodbye.
  • 62 -- SPEAKER_06: Why are you still calling me?
  • 63 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm with UPS, sir.
  • 64 -- SPEAKER_04: We were just trying to resolve...
  • 65 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't believe it.
  • 66 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't believe it.
  • 67 -- SPEAKER_06: You're just calling around to get credit card numbers.
  • 68 -- SPEAKER_06: Quit calling me.
  • 69 -- SPEAKER_04: Can you talk to my supervisor?
  • 70 -- SPEAKER_06: Hello?
  • 71 -- SPEAKER_04: Yes, sir.
  • 72 -- SPEAKER_04: This is Harper with UPS.com.
  • 73 -- SPEAKER_04: How are you today?
  • 74 -- SPEAKER_06: I'm confused.
  • 75 -- SPEAKER_06: I've gotten a number from Oregon telling me that they wanted a credit card number.
  • 76 -- SPEAKER_06: Why would a person go into UPS and hand them a box and not give them a credit card at that time?
  • 77 -- SPEAKER_06: Why are you calling around from different phone numbers asking for credit card?
  • 78 -- SPEAKER_06: This is Gallagher, the comedian.
  • 79 -- SPEAKER_06: I use UPS all the time.
  • 80 -- SPEAKER_06: I know about routing numbers.
  • 81 -- SPEAKER_06: I know how it worked, and I don't have a box in transit.
  • 82 -- SPEAKER_04: Well, can I put you?
  • 83 -- SPEAKER_04: on with my supervisor and just get to the bottom of this.
  • 84 -- SPEAKER_06: No, I think you're all in on it.
  • 85 -- SPEAKER_06: It's a scam.
  • 86 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't believe you guys.
  • 87 -- SPEAKER_06: Goodbye.
  • 88 -- SPEAKER_06: Talk.
  • 89 -- SPEAKER_04: This is Raymond with UPS.
  • 90 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm calling about a past due balance we have on your account on a parcel that we're trying to deliver.
  • 91 -- SPEAKER_04: COD.
  • 92 -- SPEAKER_06: I think you're full of shit and you're just cheaters.
  • 93 -- SPEAKER_06: I'm going to turn your phone number into UPS and your Colorado number and your Oregon number also.
  • 94 -- SPEAKER_06: bothering me.
  • 95 -- SPEAKER_04: No, this is a package from whammo.com.
  • 96 -- SPEAKER_06: Listen, jerk,ops.
  • 97 -- SPEAKER_06: I use UPS and you get the credit card number when you first walk in the door.
  • 98 -- SPEAKER_06: You don't give it to them over the phone later on.
  • 99 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't know how stupid you think I am, but quit the call.
  • 100 -- SPEAKER_06: I'm telling you, I'm going to turn in your number to UPS, and it'll all get straightened out
  • 101 -- SPEAKER_06: when they find out you and your friends in Colorado and in Oregon.
  • 102 -- SPEAKER_01: No.
  • 103 -- SPEAKER_04: Sir, I'm Raymond.
  • 104 -- SPEAKER_04: UPS up here.
  • 105 -- SPEAKER_04: Country.
  • 106 -- None: Oh, my baby.
  • 107 -- SPEAKER_04: I wanted to get some eyes and some udders.
  • 108 -- SPEAKER_04: Some what?
  • 109 -- SPEAKER_04: From a cow?
  • 110 -- SPEAKER_09: We don't deal with udders from a cow.
  • 111 -- SPEAKER_09: This is a sausage factory.
  • 112 -- SPEAKER_09: We don't deal with cows.
  • 113 -- SPEAKER_09: We deal with pigs.
  • 114 -- SPEAKER_04: Well, can I get any eyes?
  • 115 -- SPEAKER_09: Eyes.
  • 116 -- SPEAKER_09: I have no idea what you're talking about.
  • 117 -- SPEAKER_09: Eyes, like eyeballs?
  • 118 -- SPEAKER_04: Yes.
  • 119 -- SPEAKER_09: We don't deal with anything like that.
  • 120 -- SPEAKER_09: Our meat comes in the more in the 60-pound boxes.
  • 121 -- SPEAKER_04: Well, okay, I'll put me down for 60 pounds.
  • 122 -- SPEAKER_04: Of what?
  • 123 -- SPEAKER_04: Of eyes.
  • 124 -- SPEAKER_09: We don't have eyes or otters or any of that.
  • 125 -- SPEAKER_09: We make sausage.
  • 126 -- SPEAKER_09: That's all we do.
  • 127 -- SPEAKER_09: Make sausage.
  • 128 -- SPEAKER_04: Okay.
  • 129 -- SPEAKER_04: Can I get about 20 pounds of hair or fur?
  • 130 -- SPEAKER_09: We don't have hair or fur.
  • 131 -- SPEAKER_09: I think you make it a joke, but I'm not.
  • 132 -- SPEAKER_04: I got money to spend here.
  • 133 -- SPEAKER_04: Why don't you work with me?
  • 134 -- SPEAKER_09: It doesn't matter if you have money to spend.
  • 135 -- SPEAKER_09: I don't know what you're talking about.
  • 136 -- SPEAKER_04: Hudders.
  • 137 -- SPEAKER_04: I just don't have.
  • 138 -- SPEAKER_04: I just need utters and tails.
  • 139 -- SPEAKER_09: Utters and tails.
  • 140 -- SPEAKER_09: It's utterly ridiculous.
  • 141 -- SPEAKER_09: Thank you for calling Christmas specialty foods.
  • 142 -- SPEAKER_09: Can I help you?
  • 143 -- SPEAKER_04: Yeah, do you got any ox?
  • 144 -- SPEAKER_09: I don't.
  • 145 -- SPEAKER_09: Sorry.
  • 146 -- SPEAKER_04: How about, um, any testes?
  • 147 -- SPEAKER_07: No, I don't.
  • 148 -- SPEAKER_04: Any shoulder?
  • 149 -- SPEAKER_07: What is that noise?
  • 150 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm trying to start my truck here.
  • 151 -- SPEAKER_09: Oh, any shoulder, you said?
  • 152 -- SPEAKER_07: I have a pork shoulder rose.
  • 153 -- None: Hmm.
  • 154 -- SPEAKER_07: Oh, my word.
  • 155 -- SPEAKER_07: Can I help you with something else?
  • 156 -- SPEAKER_04: Um, do you want to go for a little ride if I get to start?
  • 157 -- SPEAKER_07: No, I don't want to go for a ride.
  • 158 -- SPEAKER_07: I knew you was being passed.
  • 159 -- SPEAKER_07: Bye.
  • 160 -- SPEAKER_04: You want to have a glass of wine?
  • 161 -- SPEAKER_07: Hello?
  • 162 -- SPEAKER_04: Hi.
  • 163 -- SPEAKER_04: This is Jebediah with Motor Rooter.
  • 164 -- SPEAKER_04: We're going to be, uh...
  • 165 -- SPEAKER_07: What's an odor rooters?
  • 166 -- SPEAKER_04: We're going to scour your ruders up there and your pipes.
  • 167 -- SPEAKER_04: My pipes?
  • 168 -- SPEAKER_04: How many restrooms do you have there?
  • 169 -- SPEAKER_08: Restaurants?
  • 170 -- SPEAKER_04: Restaurants.
  • 171 -- SPEAKER_04: Restaurants.
  • 172 -- SPEAKER_08: Oh, toilets?
  • 173 -- SPEAKER_04: Yes.
  • 174 -- SPEAKER_08: I don't know.
  • 175 -- SPEAKER_08: Linda!
  • 176 -- SPEAKER_08: Oh, Linda.
  • 177 -- SPEAKER_08: Go Linda.
  • 178 -- SPEAKER_08: Get her here right away.
  • 179 -- SPEAKER_04: We're going to send you a DVD of all the footage when we send our snake through your pipes, sir.
  • 180 -- SPEAKER_07: A snake?
  • 181 -- SPEAKER_07: I don't like snakes.
  • 182 -- SPEAKER_04: No, it's just a drill.
  • 183 -- SPEAKER_07: I don't ever send you a snake.
  • 184 -- SPEAKER_07: It's terrible.
  • 185 -- SPEAKER_07: I'm afraid.
  • 186 -- SPEAKER_07: snakes? A broken stricter?
  • 187 -- SPEAKER_04: It's a mechanical tool that cleans or drains.
  • 188 -- SPEAKER_07: I don't want those snakes.
  • 189 -- SPEAKER_04: We send it through your toilet, and then we send you the footage on a...
  • 190 -- SPEAKER_08: Did man's going to give me a snake?
  • 191 -- SPEAKER_08: I don't want a snake.
  • 192 -- SPEAKER_04: I don't even know what's going on.
  • 193 -- SPEAKER_08: Hello?
  • 194 -- SPEAKER_04: Hi, this is Jasper.
  • 195 -- SPEAKER_04: We got a hole here. We're trying to plug a hole.
  • 196 -- SPEAKER_04: Do you have any spare panty hose and peanut butter?
  • 197 -- SPEAKER_04: What are you talking about peanut butter?
  • 198 -- SPEAKER_04: We're trying to plug a hole here.
  • 199 -- SPEAKER_04: and the wall.
  • 200 -- SPEAKER_04: We were just looking for some...
  • 201 -- SPEAKER_07: You're not in my house.
  • 202 -- SPEAKER_04: Panny hose and peanut butter would help us do the job.
  • 203 -- SPEAKER_07: Who are you?
  • 204 -- SPEAKER_04: Jasper.
  • 205 -- SPEAKER_04: Can you help me out, please? I can be over there
  • 206 -- SPEAKER_04: in 10, 15 minutes.
  • 207 -- SPEAKER_07: Absolutely, no.
  • 208 -- SPEAKER_07: I'll call the police.
  • 209 -- SPEAKER_04: Why?
  • 210 -- SPEAKER_04: I know who you are.
  • 211 -- SPEAKER_07: I don't have no strangers to my house.
  • 212 -- SPEAKER_04: Peanut butter, panty hose. That's all we need.
  • 213 -- SPEAKER_07: Don't come around my house. I'll call the place.
  • 214 -- SPEAKER_04: Well, you don't have to do that.
  • 215 -- SPEAKER_04: We can send somebody over to.
  • 216 -- SPEAKER_04: to pick up the panty hose.
  • 217 -- SPEAKER_07: Just buy your old business out of my house.
  • 218 -- SPEAKER_07: I'm going to call a place now, I think.
  • 219 -- SPEAKER_04: Do you have any peanut butter?
  • 220 -- SPEAKER_07: No, I don't use it.
  • 221 -- SPEAKER_04: Watermelon rinds or something like that.
  • 222 -- SPEAKER_04: How about some apple peels?
  • 223 -- SPEAKER_07: No, behave yourself.
  • 224 -- SPEAKER_04: Don't go back.
  • 225 -- SPEAKER_04: Can you have any panty hose within the hour?
  • 226 -- SPEAKER_07: Don't call it.
  • 227 -- SPEAKER_07: I want to call a place, I think.
  • 228 -- SPEAKER_04: You don't need to do that.
  • 229 -- SPEAKER_07: Never call me back, okay?
  • 230 -- SPEAKER_04: We have a hole in our bucket here.
  • 231 -- SPEAKER_04: Now, can't you just lend a hand?
  • 232 -- SPEAKER_07: No.
  • 233 -- SPEAKER_07: Oh, I want to call the place.
  • 234 -- SPEAKER_04: Don't do it. No. Don't do it. No. Oh, come on.
  • 235 -- SPEAKER_04: Give me a hand here.
  • 236 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm calling the police right now.
  • 237 -- SPEAKER_04: Don't do this.
  • 238 -- SPEAKER_04: Give me a hand with your panty hose, please.
  • 239 -- SPEAKER_04: The hose, please.
  • 240 -- SPEAKER_07: You're crazy, man. I got to call the police.
  • 241 -- SPEAKER_04: No, no, no, no, no, don't do it.
  • 242 -- SPEAKER_04: Just give us some peanut butter, please.
  • 243 -- SPEAKER_04: The butter, please.
  • 244 -- SPEAKER_07: I don't use peanut butter, okay?
  • 245 -- SPEAKER_07: One more minute, I'm calling the police, I think.
  • 246 -- SPEAKER_04: Panny hose, please.
  • 247 -- SPEAKER_04: Penny hose, please.
  • 248 -- SPEAKER_04: Pany hose. Please.
  • 249 -- SPEAKER_04: How about a watermelon?
  • 250 -- SPEAKER_04: Watermelon?
  • 251 -- SPEAKER_07: Oh, honey, they're bothering me.
  • 252 -- SPEAKER_07: Call it please.
  • 253 -- SPEAKER_07: Hello?
  • 254 -- SPEAKER_04: Yeah, this is Goodman.
  • 255 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm looking for Rory here.
  • 256 -- SPEAKER_04: With regards to?
  • 257 -- SPEAKER_02: A shipment that took place, sir.
  • 258 -- SPEAKER_02: A shipment that took place?
  • 259 -- SPEAKER_02: With regards to what?
  • 260 -- SPEAKER_04: This thing was going to Shreveport, Louisiana.
  • 261 -- SPEAKER_04: My good, sir.
  • 262 -- SPEAKER_04: And I worked with you on about four days ago.
  • 263 -- SPEAKER_02: I, excuse me, I'm not sure if you had the right number.
  • 264 -- SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure what you're referring to.
  • 265 -- SPEAKER_02: What is this in regards to?
  • 266 -- SPEAKER_04: Well, I'm a boat master.
  • 267 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm a boatmaster. I,
  • 268 -- SPEAKER_04: I talked to you, I talked to you about four days ago is what I did.
  • 269 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm a boatmaster.
  • 270 -- SPEAKER_04: A boatmaster?
  • 271 -- SPEAKER_04: Yes, I am.
  • 272 -- SPEAKER_04: And I sent miniaturized encased a reptile.
  • 273 -- SPEAKER_04: It was carefully packaged and crated up.
  • 274 -- SPEAKER_04: And when it got to the other side, it was not miniaturized down in the long.
  • 275 -- SPEAKER_04: I know what's going on over there?
  • 276 -- SPEAKER_04: And when it got to the other side, it was not miniaturized down the line.
  • 277 -- SPEAKER_04: What's going on over that?
  • 278 -- SPEAKER_04: That's what I'm trying to get.
  • 279 -- SPEAKER_02: I don't know what you're talking about, man, because.
  • 280 -- SPEAKER_02: because you're going in and out with different voices.
  • 281 -- SPEAKER_02: So is it a joke or what the fuck you're doing?
  • 282 -- SPEAKER_04: I'm talking to you right here, and I'm Goodman,
  • 283 -- SPEAKER_04: and I paid cash money on the assumption that you were going to be professional.
  • 284 -- SPEAKER_04: On what?
  • 285 -- SPEAKER_04: And what are you talking about?
  • 286 -- SPEAKER_04: I had a miniaturized...
  • 287 -- SPEAKER_03: You know who you're calling?
  • 288 -- SPEAKER_03: You know what state you're calling?
  • 289 -- SPEAKER_03: Because I don't have pythons.
  • 290 -- SPEAKER_03: I don't have anything of that nature.
  • 291 -- SPEAKER_03: You got the wrong fucking.
  • 292 -- SPEAKER_04: This thing was not miniaturized.
  • 293 -- SPEAKER_04: I don't know what kind of thing you're doing.
  • 294 -- SPEAKER_03: I'm in Chicago, motherfucker.
  • 295 -- SPEAKER_03: You got the wrong number.
  • 296 -- SPEAKER_04: I don't know what you're getting at you.
  • 297 -- SPEAKER_03: Hello, this is Rory.
  • 298 -- SPEAKER_04: Hey, hello, this is Goodman.
  • 299 -- SPEAKER_04: What are you all doing to my reptile up there?
  • 300 -- SPEAKER_03: Dude, you guys got the wrong number.
  • 301 -- SPEAKER_03: I actually work for a law firm.
  • 302 -- SPEAKER_03: I don't work with reptiles or any type of species that I'm getting a phone call for.
  • 303 -- SPEAKER_04: You gave me your card there, guy, is what you did.
  • 304 -- SPEAKER_03: Dude, dude, dude, who are you calling?
  • 305 -- SPEAKER_03: Who the fuck are you calling?
  • 306 -- SPEAKER_03: What are you trying to call?
  • 307 -- SPEAKER_04: Hey, I worked with you, fair and square.
  • 308 -- SPEAKER_03: Where?
  • 309 -- SPEAKER_03: Where did you work with me?
  • 310 -- SPEAKER_04: You took my parcel, and then this thing was all felled up.
  • 311 -- SPEAKER_03: So, bro, I don't deal with parcels.
  • 312 -- SPEAKER_03: I don't deal with cash.
  • 313 -- SPEAKER_03: I don't deal with Python.
  • 314 -- SPEAKER_03: I work for a fucking law firm.
  • 315 -- SPEAKER_03: I'm a lawyer.
  • 316 -- SPEAKER_03: Okay?
  • 317 -- SPEAKER_03: I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
  • 318 -- SPEAKER_04: I'll say for $475 and I'll let it go.
  • 319 -- SPEAKER_04: Okay?
  • 320 -- SPEAKER_03: $475 of nothing I fucking know about.
  • 321 -- SPEAKER_03: Get a life.
  • 322 -- SPEAKER_04: Just give me the payment and I'll drop the whole.
  • 323 -- SPEAKER_03: If I knew what the fuck you were talking about, this seems like a joke that you're playing a fun of.
  • 324 -- SPEAKER_04: Okay?
  • 325 -- SPEAKER_04: Get your act together there, fella.
  • 326 -- SPEAKER_04: You understand?
  • 327 -- SPEAKER_03: Sella, I'm a fucking lawyer.
  • 328 -- SPEAKER_03: Okay, I work for a fucking law phone.
  • 329 -- SPEAKER_03: You hear me, dude?
  • 330 -- SPEAKER_03: You hear me?
  • 331 -- SPEAKER_03: If you continue with the harassment, I'll get you subpoenaed.
  • 332 -- SPEAKER_03: So fuck off.
  • 333 -- SPEAKER_04: Hello?
  • 334 -- SPEAKER_04: Yeah, look at here, guy.
  • 335 -- SPEAKER_04: Why don't you give me what I need?
  • 336 -- SPEAKER_04: Hold on.
  • 337 -- SPEAKER_04: I've got to record this for the police department.
  • 338 -- SPEAKER_04: Just give me what I need.
  • 339 -- SPEAKER_04: Why don't you just get your head on straight and give me what I need?
  • 340 -- SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
  • 341 -- SPEAKER_02: Let me keep you on the phone so I can record this real quick.
  • 342 -- SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
  • 343 -- SPEAKER_02: Where's this recorder?
  • 344 -- SPEAKER_02: I need to submit this to the police department.
  • 345 -- SPEAKER_04: Here, talk to my friend.
  • 346 -- SPEAKER_01: Hey, uh, Longmont.
  • 347 -- SPEAKER_04: Is he his home?
  • 348 -- SPEAKER_03: Hey, is that ULPC?
  • 349 -- SPEAKER_03: You got the wrong number.
  • 350 -- SPEAKER_04: No, it's the right number.
  • 351 -- SPEAKER_04: No, it's the right number.