wallace-thrasher

Longmont Potion Castle 16 (2019)

Track 3: UPS Trebek

Last modified: 2025-02-14T11:42:08

Model used: distil-whisper/distil-large-v3

Speakers adjusted? false

Subtitles adjusted? false

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1 -- SPEAKER_07: y'all out
2 -- SPEAKER_00: uh yes this is barborella with united parcel service calling yep
3 -- SPEAKER_00: uPS sir
4 -- SPEAKER_07: yep
5 -- SPEAKER_00: and we've been out there twice this week and no one answered the bell
6 -- SPEAKER_00: we're looking for assurances that someone will be there when we
7 -- SPEAKER_00: re-deliver here tonight or tomorrow morning
8 -- SPEAKER_05: uh i mean i don't know you guys can't get into the building
9 -- SPEAKER_01: well no one answered the buzzer sir
10 -- SPEAKER_01: Is there some explanation?
11 -- SPEAKER_01: And it's a COD order.
12 -- SPEAKER_05: Can we do it by phone, though?
13 -- SPEAKER_05: How about my phone?
14 -- SPEAKER_00: $112.38.
15 -- SPEAKER_05: From where?
16 -- SPEAKER_00: The package is from Big Tucker's Sweathouse.
17 -- SPEAKER_05: Big Tucker's Sweathouse?
18 -- SPEAKER_05: Yeah, the sweat house.
19 -- SPEAKER_05: I know the sweat house.
20 -- SPEAKER_00: Yes.
21 -- SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh, exactly.
22 -- SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
23 -- SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah, I know it.
24 -- SPEAKER_05: Who am I sticking with?
25 -- SPEAKER_00: uh my name's barborella i'm with united parcel service uh here ups dot com 14 months on the job
26 -- SPEAKER_05: barbara you sound kind of hot are you into dude excuse me do you like do you like what i don't follow
27 -- SPEAKER_00: you there i just deal in package fulfillment uh product fulfillment all day long here at united
28 -- SPEAKER_00: parcel service sir if you have a question about your parcel here it's a colorful bunch of pouches here is what i've
29 -- SPEAKER_00: for you.
30 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to answer the questions you might have.
31 -- SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
32 -- SPEAKER_07: So if you want to read the routing number from your checkbook or maybe Master Charge.
33 -- SPEAKER_07: Okay.
34 -- SPEAKER_05: Six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, two, seven, six, six, four, seven, seven, three, four, seven, seven, nine, nine.
35 -- SPEAKER_00: Sir, can you please be.
36 -- SPEAKER_00: profession.
37 -- SPEAKER_07: I'm trying to do my, I deal in product fulfillment.
38 -- SPEAKER_01: I don't know what I do with package fulfillment.
39 -- SPEAKER_07: I work in the corporate office or you're not in parcel service.
40 -- SPEAKER_01: You know, ideal packages all day long, all shapes and sizes here, guy.
41 -- SPEAKER_07: Well, I'll do you all.
42 -- SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
43 -- SPEAKER_01: I know what I'm doing.
44 -- SPEAKER_01: UPS's continued relevance is no accident.
45 -- SPEAKER_01: Guy, we do with product fulfillment.
46 -- SPEAKER_01: Package fulfillment, day and night.
47 -- SPEAKER_01: And you've got a package here.
48 -- SPEAKER_01: You've got a COD package.
49 -- SPEAKER_07: Hey, Barbarella.
50 -- SPEAKER_07: Can I speak to your manager?
51 -- SPEAKER_05: There it is.
52 -- SPEAKER_01: I could let you talk to my manager, sure.
53 -- SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
54 -- SPEAKER_05: I would love to talk to your manager, Barabrella.
55 -- SPEAKER_01: All right, one moment.
56 -- SPEAKER_01: Please.
57 -- SPEAKER_05: Manager better be hot.
58 -- SPEAKER_05: Can you please be professional?
59 -- SPEAKER_05: Hello?
60 -- SPEAKER_05: Hello.
61 -- SPEAKER_05: Hi.
62 -- SPEAKER_05: Yes?
63 -- SPEAKER_05: Yes.
64 -- SPEAKER_05: Hello.
65 -- SPEAKER_05: Uh, manager, please.
66 -- SPEAKER_05: Uh.
67 -- SPEAKER_05: Yes.
68 -- SPEAKER_05: Yes.
69 -- SPEAKER_05: Hi.
70 -- SPEAKER_05: This is Barbara Lowe.
71 -- SPEAKER_05: And I just wanted to know you'll be paying COD for our package that will deliver a car.
72 -- SPEAKER_05: Okay.
73 -- SPEAKER_04: Explain why you're calling me.
74 -- SPEAKER_05: I'm going to eat your fucking kids.
75 -- SPEAKER_05: Do you hear me?
76 -- SPEAKER_05: Do you fucking hear me?
77 -- SPEAKER_05: I'm going to eat your fucking kids.
78 -- SPEAKER_05: Stop calling this fucking number.
79 -- SPEAKER_05: this fucking number.
80 -- SPEAKER_00: Hello?
81 -- SPEAKER_00: Hi, yes.
82 -- SPEAKER_00: This is Barbarella with UPS.
83 -- SPEAKER_00: Colin.
84 -- SPEAKER_00: How are you today, sir?
85 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm well.
86 -- SPEAKER_00: Okay.
87 -- SPEAKER_00: And we've been out there
88 -- SPEAKER_00: two times here this week.
89 -- SPEAKER_00: Just looking for...
90 -- SPEAKER_02: When you say there,
91 -- SPEAKER_02: where are you referring to?
92 -- SPEAKER_00: We have a delivery
93 -- SPEAKER_00: and COD.
94 -- SPEAKER_02: Which address, sir?
95 -- SPEAKER_00: Which address?
96 -- SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
97 -- SPEAKER_00: We're in downtown.
98 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm in the corporate tower office here.
99 -- SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no, no, sir.
100 -- SPEAKER_00: Yes, we are.
101 -- SPEAKER_02: Where are you trying to deliver it to?
102 -- SPEAKER_00: Well,
103 -- SPEAKER_00: As I was saying, we have a COD of $48.66.
104 -- SPEAKER_00: We're just looking for assurances that you will be present when we do redeliver attempt here today or tomorrow morning.
105 -- SPEAKER_02: At which address?
106 -- SPEAKER_00: It's a residential address in the New York area, and I'm just trying to make sure that someone's going to be there this time when we send our driver back out.
107 -- SPEAKER_00: Is there some reason you haven't answered the bell when he's been there earlier in the week?
108 -- SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
109 -- SPEAKER_02: This sounds pretty scummy from the way it sounds to me.
110 -- SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
111 -- SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm with UPS, sir.
112 -- SPEAKER_02: So you say, but you're not willing to tell me the address you're delivering to it.
113 -- SPEAKER_00: This is Barbarella.
114 -- SPEAKER_00: We're at 412 5th Street.
115 -- SPEAKER_00: Okay.
116 -- SPEAKER_02: I know.
117 -- SPEAKER_02: You know what Barbarella is.
118 -- SPEAKER_00: That's my name, and I've been here for 14 months on the job, UPS.com.
119 -- SPEAKER_02: Every detail of the way that you're telling the story sounds like the kind of thing designed to make old people fall for a scam.
120 -- SPEAKER_00: A scam.
121 -- SPEAKER_00: A scam.
122 -- SPEAKER_00: Sir, this is a pouch, a parcel.
123 -- SPEAKER_00: We're trying to deliver to you, do our job here, and you're not exactly cooperating.
124 -- SPEAKER_00: Can you look at it from our side for a moment here?
125 -- SPEAKER_00: You won't even tell me my address.
126 -- SPEAKER_00: Oh, I've got your address right here on my computer system.
127 -- SPEAKER_02: Then you will need to tell me that for me to believe you that you're not full of shit.
128 -- SPEAKER_00: Well, I've got to log in.
129 -- SPEAKER_00: That takes a minute to do while we're talking here.
130 -- SPEAKER_00: But what we do with...
131 -- SPEAKER_02: It doesn't really sound like you work for a Fortune 500 company to me.
132 -- SPEAKER_02: It sounds to me like you're a scammer trying to rip off old people.
133 -- SPEAKER_00: If you could read the routing number and we can process the payment,
134 -- SPEAKER_00: we can leave the item in a safe place, that's certainly no problem.
135 -- SPEAKER_00: Not a problem also.
136 -- SPEAKER_03: But do people fall for this often?
137 -- SPEAKER_03: I mean, honestly, who is this stupid?
138 -- SPEAKER_00: Sir, I'm with United Parcel Service.
139 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm super entertained by your whole...
140 -- SPEAKER_00: This isn't FedEx or D.HL.
141 -- SPEAKER_00: This isn't some fly-by-night company.
142 -- SPEAKER_00: We're United Parcel Service guy, and I've been here for two years.
143 -- SPEAKER_02: I know quite well what UPS is.
144 -- SPEAKER_02: However, I don't believe that you have anything to do with any company.
145 -- SPEAKER_02: That's anything.
146 -- SPEAKER_02: I think you're some fucking idiot in another town trying to rip people off,
147 -- SPEAKER_02: which is pretty clear that that's what you are.
148 -- SPEAKER_02: I'm enjoying berating you over it because I've never done the COD of you in my goddamn life.
149 -- SPEAKER_02: Not to mention it doesn't exist anymore.
150 -- SPEAKER_02: Who is this stupid?
151 -- SPEAKER_00: This is a colorful bunch of parcels here intended for you,
152 -- SPEAKER_00: and we're just trying to do our job.
153 -- SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh, oh, I need to get my parcel.
154 -- SPEAKER_00: Package fulfillment.
155 -- SPEAKER_03: It's very important that I pay for a parcel.
156 -- SPEAKER_03: You know what the fuck, man?
157 -- SPEAKER_03: Who is this fucking stupid?
158 -- SPEAKER_02: You know what, honestly, you're in Oregon, so it says?
159 -- SPEAKER_02: I mean, whatever your Google Voice number,
160 -- SPEAKER_02: whatever it is you got, to do this call.
161 -- SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm obviously going to call law enforcement after this.
162 -- SPEAKER_00: Oh, don't do that.
163 -- SPEAKER_02: Oh, why wouldn't I?
164 -- SPEAKER_00: I just deal in package fulfillment here at UPS.
165 -- SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, then what do you have to worry about, my friend?
166 -- SPEAKER_00: Nothing at all.
167 -- SPEAKER_00: If you have a credit card, Master Charge, I'm happy to take that from me and get it out the door.
168 -- SPEAKER_03: First of all, master charge hasn't existed in many years.
169 -- SPEAKER_03: So you're full of shit on so many possible fucking levels that I'm enjoying hearing you do your stupid spiel.
170 -- SPEAKER_03: I just can't believe anybody is so dumb as to give you who sound like a complete fucking moron.
171 -- SPEAKER_02: Honestly, I've dealt with scammers before, and you were possibly the most ridiculously
172 -- SPEAKER_02: bad scam I've ever ever encountered.
173 -- SPEAKER_02: I see.
174 -- SPEAKER_00: That's because I'm trying to do a legitimate service for the community here.
175 -- SPEAKER_03: Oh, for the community.
176 -- SPEAKER_03: I'm not one of your criminal-minded buddies here.
177 -- SPEAKER_03: You're just a very bad criminal.
178 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm a corporate employee and a corporate structure.
179 -- SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh, I've never ordered any security in my life and never would.
180 -- SPEAKER_02: I deal with package fulfillment, guy.
181 -- SPEAKER_00: Get used to a package fulfillment all day long.
182 -- SPEAKER_00: Yes, I do, sir. Yes, I do. UPS.com.
183 -- SPEAKER_02: What, why don't you, oh, oh, oh, oh, why don't I speak?
184 -- SPEAKER_02: to your supervisor, quote, unquote.
185 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to put my supervisor on the phone.
186 -- SPEAKER_02: You do that right now.
187 -- SPEAKER_00: Okay. Just a moment, sir.
188 -- SPEAKER_02: Hello?
189 -- SPEAKER_02: Oh, hello. Who's this?
190 -- SPEAKER_02: Alex?
191 -- SPEAKER_02: Alex, and who do you work for?
192 -- SPEAKER_04: What does it matter? You called me.
193 -- SPEAKER_02: I didn't call you. I didn't call you at all. You guys can get your stories straight.
194 -- SPEAKER_04: My phone just rang and I picked up and I said,
195 -- SPEAKER_04: Hello.
196 -- SPEAKER_02: Okay.
197 -- SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm getting calls from this number.
198 -- SPEAKER_02: Why am I even explaining to you?
199 -- SPEAKER_02: I'd like you to explain yourself.
200 -- SPEAKER_04: You're getting calls from this number?
201 -- SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, sure did.
202 -- SPEAKER_02: So why don't you explain to me who you are, why I'm talking to you?
203 -- SPEAKER_04: I have no idea.
204 -- SPEAKER_04: My name is Alex Trebek.
205 -- SPEAKER_04: What's your name?
206 -- SPEAKER_02: Alex Trebek?
207 -- SPEAKER_02: I love your TV show.
208 -- SPEAKER_04: Okay, thank you.
209 -- SPEAKER_04: Now, explain why you're calling me.
210 -- SPEAKER_02: Didn't call you.
211 -- SPEAKER_04: You didn't call me just now.
212 -- SPEAKER_02: Did not.
213 -- SPEAKER_04: Your phone rang and you picked up.
214 -- SPEAKER_02: Nope.
215 -- SPEAKER_02: My phone rang about five minutes ago.
216 -- SPEAKER_02: I picked up and another gentleman was on phone.
217 -- SPEAKER_02: I told that gentleman I'd like to speak to his supervisor and I got you.
218 -- SPEAKER_04: I don't know how that happened.
219 -- SPEAKER_04: There's somebody who's been jerking around the phone system for quite some time,
220 -- SPEAKER_04: a couple of years, and manages to cross-connect three different people in different parts of the country.
221 -- SPEAKER_04: So it looks like you are a newcomer to this procedure.
222 -- SPEAKER_02: I don't know. I'm familiar with what's going on. This is a scammer.
223 -- SPEAKER_02: I assume you're in Cahoochman.
224 -- SPEAKER_02: But in any case, that's all it is. You're a scammer.
225 -- SPEAKER_02: That's what you are.
226 -- SPEAKER_02: You're full of shit.
227 -- SPEAKER_02: I've had enough.
228 -- SPEAKER_02: I have to go back.
229 -- SPEAKER_06: Your call has been forward to an automatic police message.
230 -- SPEAKER_06: This is Courtney Love.
231 -- SPEAKER_00: Hi, this is Barabella with United Parcel Service.
232 -- SPEAKER_00: How are you doing today, ma'am?
233 -- SPEAKER_06: Good, thank you.
234 -- SPEAKER_00: So we've got a parcel here. We've tried to deliver two other occasions
235 -- SPEAKER_00: and there wasn't anybody there.
236 -- SPEAKER_06: Well, I won't be here until...
237 -- SPEAKER_06: Ooh.
238 -- SPEAKER_06: I'll be here for a window from about 1 o'clock to...
239 -- SPEAKER_06: Well... 12.30 to...
240 -- SPEAKER_06: No, shoot. Today's not good.
241 -- SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh. I hear that all the time.
242 -- SPEAKER_06: Tomorrow and Friday are both good.
243 -- SPEAKER_00: How about in June?
244 -- SPEAKER_00: I mean, we can just hold off and give you plenty of time, if you'd rather.
245 -- SPEAKER_06: Well, I suggest I talk to your manager.
246 -- SPEAKER_00: Well, why is that?
247 -- SPEAKER_06: Because I'm not responsible for you coming when I'm not home.
248 -- SPEAKER_06: It's not like I'm dodging you.
249 -- SPEAKER_06: And I gave you an answer that today I'm not going to be available.
250 -- SPEAKER_06: I have a meeting here shortly, and I'll be home between 1230 and 2.30.
251 -- SPEAKER_06: That's a real small window.
252 -- SPEAKER_06: I thought it would be nicer to say,
253 -- SPEAKER_06: like, I'll be home all of tomorrow and all of Friday.
254 -- SPEAKER_06: And then most of next week, and you're talking, June,
255 -- SPEAKER_06: it's like, all of a sudden you turned bitter and rude to me.
256 -- SPEAKER_06: And now I want to talk to your math.
257 -- SPEAKER_06: And now I want to talk to your math.
258 -- SPEAKER_06: manager.
259 -- SPEAKER_00: Well, how about you cancel the meeting?
260 -- SPEAKER_06: Who are you?
261 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm Barborella with United Parcel Service.
262 -- SPEAKER_00: I'm an accountant.
263 -- SPEAKER_06: You're an accountant and you're making these trains of calls?
264 -- SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, after three attempts that gets kicked back to my department, miss.
265 -- SPEAKER_06: Well, I'm terribly sorry that I wasn't home for the delivery barborella.
266 -- SPEAKER_06: Give me your manager or your supervisor.
267 -- SPEAKER_00: Well, do you have a debit card we can use to process your payment for the COD?
268 -- SPEAKER_06: There's a COD on it?
269 -- SPEAKER_00: What?
270 -- SPEAKER_06: Yes, ma'am.
271 -- SPEAKER_06: Where is it from?
272 -- SPEAKER_06: Are there not notes you're supposed to leave?
273 -- SPEAKER_00: We lift slips on the door.
274 -- SPEAKER_00: Oh, two or three of them?
275 -- SPEAKER_00: Two or three of them.
276 -- SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
277 -- SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
278 -- SPEAKER_00: Oh, big time.
279 -- SPEAKER_00: It's from bone broth.com.
280 -- SPEAKER_00: We need a payment, 4878.
281 -- SPEAKER_06: I'm not expecting anything from bone broth.com, especially something I have to pay to have delivered.
282 -- SPEAKER_06: So how about you send it back and not treat me like shit?
283 -- SPEAKER_00: Not an option, ma'am.
284 -- SPEAKER_00: We need a master charge.
285 -- None: Hello?
286 -- SPEAKER_00: Hi, and this is Little Anthony with UPS.
287 -- SPEAKER_00: What appears to be the travel operator today?
288 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't.
289 -- SPEAKER_06: No, look, you are the same asshole I was just speaking to,
290 -- SPEAKER_06: and I haven't had a problem with your delivery,
291 -- SPEAKER_06: anybody making deliveries, because I haven't seen them or interacted with them.
292 -- SPEAKER_06: So unless you want to get me someone else, back the fuck off.
293 -- SPEAKER_01: I'm a manager up here at UPS.
294 -- SPEAKER_06: And what is up with the sound problems with your call, and the sirens and the sirens and the
295 -- SPEAKER_06: background. You sound like a real...
296 -- SPEAKER_06: Do you think I'm the famous, Courtney Love?
297 -- SPEAKER_06: And so you're just giving me shit?
298 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't believe you because you've treated me like shit.
299 -- SPEAKER_00: Let me just get my supervisor real quick.
300 -- SPEAKER_00: Maybe we can waive the fee for you.
301 -- SPEAKER_00: I'll just get my supervisor on the line right now.
302 -- SPEAKER_04: Hello?
303 -- SPEAKER_06: Hello?
304 -- SPEAKER_04: Yes. Can I help you?
305 -- SPEAKER_06: Yes. And you are?
306 -- SPEAKER_04: Who are you calling?
307 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't even know for what, and there's nothing I expect.
308 -- SPEAKER_06: nothing I expect and there's been no driver contact and just one rude phone call and now you.
309 -- SPEAKER_04: Oh, somebody screws around with the phone systems.
310 -- SPEAKER_04: They've managed to find a way to have different people receive calls at exactly the same time.
311 -- SPEAKER_04: Well, this is great.
312 -- SPEAKER_06: I've been harassed by your previous caller.
313 -- SPEAKER_06: He even had a child pick up.
314 -- SPEAKER_06: I don't know that I can believe that this is real and I don't have time to be harassed.
315 -- SPEAKER_06: I'm sorry.
316 -- SPEAKER_04: Oh, don't be sorry.
317 -- SPEAKER_04: somebody's out there screwing with us and we haven't been able to catch them yet.
318 -- SPEAKER_04: But one of these days we may get lucky.